20 Random Facts about Kuroba Kaito
by IncandescentKitsune
Summary: Just what it says in the title. Some funny, some sad, some a bit of both, this is a little taste of how Kuroba Kaito's mind works.


20 Random Facts about Kuroba Kaito

1) Despite the fact that he is constantly trying to capture his alter ego and trick him into admitting he's Kaitou Kid, Kaito considers Hakuba one of his best friends as well as a worthy adversary. He also considers him a great victim for his pranks – which may help explain why Hakuba is constantly trying to capture him.

2) Contrary to what the tantei-tachi and his task force believe, Kaito does not, in fact, break the laws of physics. He just…bends them a little is all.

3) The pink elephant in the cafeteria had _nothing to do with him_!

4) Truthfully – and he knows what this says about his social life – Kaito cares quite a bit about the people trying to capture him and throw him in jail. He makes a point to keep tabs on Hakuba, Tantei-kun, and the task force, and not just so he can disguise himself properly. As such, he knows who just got dumped, who is sick, who is expecting a baby…

5) The task force has stopped being surprised about the little presents and notes they receive with a grinning caricature in place of a signature. They've become used to it – someone who is heartbroken, or sick, or pregnant will receive a funny gift, or a clever riddle, or a picture of the one who dumped them in an embarrassing position, and at least one task force baby has received a mysterious birthday present in a puff of smoke.

6) Kaito actually does plan out his heists, sometimes for months at a time. He 'scopes the joint', checks out security, creates new gadgets and checks escape routes. He also comes up with plans after plans in case something goes wrong.

7) All his plans are thrown out the window the moment Edogawa Conan shows up. He can play Nakamori-Keibu and the task force like violins, and he knows Hakuba well enough to guess what he's going to do at any given time, but Tantei-kun is a wild card, and Kaito can never predict what he's going to do next. Whenever Tantei-kun gets involved, Kaito skips the complicated plans, and spends most of the heist winging it.

8) When Kaito finds Pandora, he will smash it, throw the pieces into the ocean, and use the last specks of dust in the ink on the invitations he will send to the Tantei-tachi, task force, and guests for his retirement party. He fully intends to be there when they get his invitations – it will be too funny to miss.

9) Kaito is never staging a heist in Osaka again. Never. Never _ever. _Hattori Heiji is smart enough to figure out his clues, canny enough to spot his mistakes, enough of a detective to try to stop him from getting away – and crazy enough to jump off buildings after him, _without _some way of stopping or controlling his flight.

10) It is Kaito's opinion that Hattori is crazier then he is.

11) Not all of Kaito's tricks are sleight of hand, not all his illusions are smoke and mirrors, not all of his magic is fake, and not all of his antics and his ability to seemingly defy the laws of physics are luck. He thinks the Tantei-tachi hasn't figured this out yet. He's wrong.

12) Kaito's father taught him a lot. He taught him poker face and magic tricks, and how to disguise real magic in slight of hand. He taught him disguise and how to make the whole room watch you when you entered it – and how to make sure no one payed any attention to you. Nakamori-Keibu taught him a lot too, about honour and truth and justice and how to tell if something is wrong or right. His mother, on the other hand, taught him to love, to laugh, to enjoy every moment of life – and how people smiled back at you when you smiled at them. He thinks his mother taught him the most.

13) Kaito has been wearing a poker face for so long that he's almost forgotten what it was like when his face was a book in which his emotions could be read easily by all, instead of a stage where the are actors and he is the director. If he ever asked Aoko, she would tell him that it didn't matter what his face said, all you need to do to tell what he's thinking is look at his body language. He hasn't asked her yet.

14) Sometimes, Kaito wonders what is behind his masks. He's been wearing them so long, he's started to think there might be nothing behind them at all, that one day he'll take them off, and what left won't be Kaito, or Kuroba-kun, or Kid, but just empty space. It's his worst nightmare.

15) Kaito is just a little bit suicidal. He wouldn't be able to prance about in white at night whilst he's robbing a place or make himself a target of a mysterious organisation or even throw himself of tall buildings with his glider if he wasn't. He thinks the Tantei-tachi hasn't figured this out yet either. He's wrong.

16) On the rare occasion that Kaito is cornered, his favourite trick to get away is to embarrass the person who's cornered him. Depending on whom it is this could involve changing them into another colour, letting everyone know an embarrassing secret about them, cutting of their pants with his card gun, or his favourite – kissing them. It works especially well with Hakuba, but so far he's kissed half the task force, all of the Tantei-tachi, and, on one memorable occasion, Nakamori Aoko. It works every time.

17) It is a well known fact that Kaitou Kid is somewhat insane. Anyone who dresses in white when performing a heist, is extremely fond of the people trying to throw him in jail, and has a habit of throwing himself off tall buildings can't be entirely there. What isn't so well known is the fact that most of the task force chasing him is also somewhat insane. It's really the only way to survive extended periods near the Kaitou Kid. One of the main things that prove their insanity, is the task force betting pool. Anything from when the Kid is going to turn up, to what he's actually looking for, to the Kid's actual age - no one but Nakamori-Keibu actually thinks he's more then 20 - to what sort prank he will pull on them that night. surprisingly, Takagi is the undisputed king of the betting pool.

18) Sometimes, Kaito thinks about how he will die. He has several ideas. Maybe Snake will finally get lucky – or be smart enough to shoot for the head or buy armour piercing rounds. Maybe he'll finally get caught, and the organization will ensure he suffers an 'accident' in prison. Maybe he'll take a bullet that was meant for someone else – Tantei-kun perhaps, the boy is a magnet for trouble.

19) He'd like to die when he's older, a successful magician, perhaps married, perhaps not – definitely with children though, even if he has to adopt. Quietly passing away in his sleep, maybe, or going out with a bang on the stage…

20) When it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how Kaito dies. What matters is how he lives.


End file.
